In “Putting the MEN in Mentoring,” I shared two key lessons I have learned as a woman in EdTech: women need male mentors to help bridge the leadership gap in a male-dominated field, and men must actively show up as allies to support gender equity. Male mentorship has proven benefits, including more advancement and job satisfaction for women, but many men are not actively mentoring women.
This follow-up article shifts the focus from explaining why male mentorship and allyship are crucial to providing actionable strategies that empower women to take charge of their careers by proactively identifying, approaching, and building relationships with male mentors who will champion their growth.
Strategies for Female Leaders to Find Male Mentors
Begin by exploring your existing network to identify potential mentors. Professional organizations, whether local, state, or national, are a great way to expand your network, as well as through LinkedIn and other online communities. CoSN’s Belonging and Inclusion Committee leads a variety of events at the annual CoSN conference, taking place at the March 31 – April 2, 2025, in Seattle, including the Women In Technology Breakfast Summit. This year, CoSN will introduce sessions for affinity groups like women in tech and allyship for underrepresented IT leaders.
Focus on individuals whose skills and career paths align with your goals and who demonstrate a commitment to mentoring or advocacy. Build a connection virtually through thoughtful engagement: comment on their posts and reference their work when reaching out. For example, after attending a conference, send a personalized message mentioning their presentation and how it resonated with your goals. This proactive approach lays the groundwork for a meaningful mentorship.
When approaching a potential mentor, craft a clear, concise message that communicates your goals and why you’re seeking his guidance. Start by explaining what drew you to his leadership style or expertise, for example. Then, outline the specific areas where you’d appreciate his support, like navigating a career transition or developing leadership skills. For example, your message could say: “I admire your success in implementing large-scale edtech initiatives like your work on [example]. As I work toward becoming a CTO, I would value your advice on leading diverse teams. Would you be open to a brief conversation to share your insights?” A targeted invitation shows respect for his time and increases the likelihood of a positive response.
Creating a Mutually Beneficial Mentorship
Establishing clear expectations is key for mentors and mentees. Define the frequency and format of meetings: whether it’s monthly video calls or email check-ins. Outline discussion topics to make the most of your time together. For instance, you might seek advice on developing leadership skills or navigating gender dynamics in the workplace. Clear expectations not only set the tone for productive conversations but also show your mentor that you value their time and guidance.
A great resource for male mentors and female mentees is Athena Rising: How and Why Men Should Mentor Women by W. Brad Johnson and David G. Smith. This book describes the importance of cross-gender mentoring and the second half is a literal manual explaining how to build a positive mentoring relationship and avoid the pitfalls that could ruin a mentorship.
Personally, my male mentors have positively impacted my career, and I’ve tried to make it a two-way street. As a female with an educational background being mentored by males with technical backgrounds, I have been able to offer them my perspectives from being a classroom teacher to being a woman in a male-dominated field. Having a mutually beneficial mentorship can broaden mentors’ viewpoints, keep them connected to new ideas, and help them grow. Demonstrating your willingness to contribute makes the relationship more rewarding and builds mutual respect, so consider the unique insights you have to offer your mentor.
A mentor’s honest feedback is one of the most valuable aspects of the relationship. For example, a mentor might point out areas where your communication could be more effective or identify a blind spot with how others may be interpreting your words or actions differently than you intended them. Ask for constructive criticism and foster a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing areas of improvement.
I remember getting some brutally honest feedback from a mentor once and, while I could feel tears of frustration welling up in my eyes, I took a breath, stayed calm, and asked some questions. I reminded myself that my mentor is not perfect and may not always phrase things perfectly, but his candor meant he respected me and wanted the best for me. If I had let my emotions take over, my mentor probably would have been afraid to share honest feedback with me again. Responding to negative feedback with curiosity and a growth mindset instead of an emotional response helped deepen the trust and authenticity of our mentorship.
Call to Action
Men need to support, advocate for, and empower women in EdTech as mentors and allies, but they may not recognize the critical role they play or know how to help. Women can take charge of their professional growth by developing strong, supportive relationships with male mentors and then continue to grow those partnerships to transform the field of EdTech into one where mentors are not hard to find, and allies and advocates are abundant as well.
AUTHOR: Dr. Ivy Nelson, Instructional Technology Manager, Belton School District (MO), CoSN Belonging & Inclusion Committee
Dr. Ivy Nelson is a CoSN Certified Education Technology Leader (CETL), Certified Cybersecurity Rubric Evaluator (CCRE), and serves on the CoSN Belonging & Inclusion Committee, for which she advocates for improving collaboration, support, and belonging in the EdTech profession. Ivy is the Instructional Technology Manager for the Belton School District in Missouri, and is passionate about using technology to inspire and enrich learning for all.
Published: January 22, 2025
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